Ada was threatening to kill herself today. Right after the success of her blockbuster movie, right after their beautiful red carpet. She was there, kneeling in the middle of their master bedroom like some kind of martyr, with a kitchen knife to her neck and with dead seriousness in her eyes.
“Ada-“ he started, that seemed like a good way to start. Call her name, draw her in, make their bedroom a safe place.
“Don’t fucking call my name Godwin, don’t call me. Today I’m going to kill myself in front of you.” Ada said resolved, strong. She was a brilliant actress, she thought to herself as the coldness of the blade stung her neck. A gun was too shabby, too real, her intrusive thoughts might make her actually pull the trigger. Also Godwin would see right through it, it wouldn’t be a tantrum anymore but a premeditated thing because where the hell did she find time to get a gun?, Godwin might feel too lazy to talk her out of that, and what if they had a struggle for the gun? No she thought the gun would make her attempt too set in stone, too dangerous.
Pills were too rather on the nose, Ada thought, very low on the drama scale too, she had never seen anyone threaten to kill themselves with a bottle of fluoxetine in a movie and pull it off. Although she was sure she could sell it, it was just not the effect she wanted.
The knife you see, was on dresser, she specifically put it right there before the event, claiming that she used it in the kitchen and because she was rushing to dress up for the show, didn’t know when she took it to their room, oh same old silly Ada, Godwin must have thought when she explained this to him several hours before now.
Godwin stood as she knelt, he was Jesus, she was Mary. He watched her beautiful evening dress sprawl over the floor as the shining knife toyed with his wife’s long neck, would she really do it? he thought she loved life too much, Ada loved life and the scandal it would cause, she would never actually kill herself, he knew this and to add to that, Ada just got this pure white carpet and he was sure she loved them too much to have her blood forever taint it! Or maybe she planned this all along, the white carpet, the red blood, seemed like something out of a horror film.
“Oya Ada, please what do you want me to do here?” He whispered to her, why didn’t he just grab the knife? He was stronger than her, bigger than her, he could easily take the knife right at this moment, he must have been enjoying the show she was putting on.
“Godwin, do you even see me? Do you even see me?” Yes, this was a tantrum he concluded, a very stupid one at that, which one was did he see her? He almost hissed as she repeated herself again, what did she want him to say to that. He did see Ada, literally and figuratively. He silently wondered if there was another way to see someone.
“Ada I do see you, you’re my wife.” He said as he knelt down with her, no more towering, he needed to take the knife from her slowly, she needed to calm down and throw her tantrum in his arms or in the shower or protest in bed like every other normal woman. This drama just won’t do.
She rose up as he knelt to her level in haste and even backed away from him. “No Godwin, you’re not getting it, I don’t want to be just your wife, I want to be your friend, your companion, your everything, not just some obligation!” Godwin sighed, Godwin sighed a very big sigh.
“You don’t call me beautiful anymore! You don’t give me office gossip anymore! You don’t even suck my tits anymore!” Godwin felt like she was being unfair, he doesn’t call her beautiful because she knows, she gets fan mail everyday that proves that, she has a mirror doesn’t she! Godwin doesn’t have office gossip, it was the one time that Doyin, his secretary, called off her engagement that they laughed about early this year, that was the most interesting thing going on there. And he just forgot sometimes that her breasts were there for the taking, he simply forgot. Was she holding a knife to her neck just for some extra minutes of foreplay?
“You used to love my tits.” She whispered to herself as she broke into some tears and sobs. Yes Ada was doing this just right, she was acting this perfectly! Oh a part of her wish she could record this and send for her next gig, oh how phenomenal I am! She thought to herself in between tears. Did she mean these things she was saying? Yes of course, Ada loved Godwin with all of her messed up heart. It’s true he’s not one for public displays of affection or any kind of affection but that needed to change. It was gonna take something drastic, it was going to take a knife to her throat to fix this one. She knew he loved her, he just needed to remind her every now and then.
“I still love your tits Ada-“ Godwin started sincerely, “And you, I adore you, you know this, you’re a star, I feel like you hear these compliments everyday, I don’t want to be just another fan.” Godwin said, his words were true, he slowly moved towards her now.
“You’re still the most beautiful star I’ve ever seen. I’m sorry if I don’t tell you this often enough.” Ada was loving this. She was enjoying this too much. However she thought, So I must put a knife to my neck before you talk like this Godwin, she couldn’t put a knife to her neck every time Godwin reclined back into his stupid shell, she needed this to stick, she needed this lesson to stick with him forever.
She took the knife away from her neck and quickly sliced her wrist. She thought if she did it quickly it would hurt less, it did not. She screamed and ran into the bathroom and rinsed water over it. Godwin was less than step behind her, grabbing the first aid kit and sooting her with soft words as he applied all the painful ointments she needed. He mixed his reprimands with kind endearments. “Ada don’t go close to that knife again, I wouldn’t know what to do if I lost you.” and stuff like “You are not okay in the head my love.” Her profusely bleeding arm seemed worth it.
He was in front of her now, on the floor in the bathroom, his sleeves rolled up as he tended to her wound. She had lost her anger with just the way he looked at her! She couldn’t believe all it took was a suicidal fit, she was going to tell all her friends that this was the new style, but no, she didn’t want her method to cast incase Godwin became reclusive again. She was going to keep this to herself.
“Promise that you’ll treat me better Godwin”
“I promise my Ada.” He kissed her dearly, like he was knowing her lips for the first time today.
She smiled in the kiss and wished that she made him do more stuff with the knife to her throat, like sack that his stupid secretary Doyin. Oh well, she thought to herself, she could always buy the gun.